Driving Us Crazy

After changing my morning travel routine from public transport to driving in peak hour traffic, I came to observe how traffic and road rage brings out the worst of our personalities.

I am quite confident when I state that I never talked to myself until I was in the car alone for long periods of time. I know I do it, I’ve seen you do it, so here’s how we identify it. Popular examples may include

- Yelling out all the unconventional ways you think the other person got their license
- Wishing for a loudspeaker so they can actually hear you yelling “are you DRUNK?”
- Stating “bet you they’re Asian!!!” when there is only yourself to bet
- Contemplating / muttering all the ways you could get away with hurting them
- Forgetting there are other people in the car and putting them in mental / physical harm
- The passengers would rather commando roll out of your moving vehicle than deal with another fit

When the craziness of driving triggers the craziness within, it can turn an equal rights activist into a racist, and a green peace volunteer the same green of the hulk. It got me wondering; maybe we’re all a little crazy!

Triggers
....
For some it’s bad drivers, for others like my mother it’s a grand mixture of loud noises, small spaces, big crowds, a smudge on the carpet, being rushed, others going too slow, an unmade bed, yelling, whispering, a dish in the sink, general human error and on the odd occasion, men’s facial hair, clingy men, cat hair, dog hair, dirt in general, people breathing erratically.
From breathing to cheating, no matter what it takes, everyone has at least one thing that makes them tick.

Some people can be so sensitive; you’d have better luck not getting burnt in an attempt to catch a falling hair curler (on high). Warning: chances are slim to none.

For some people, only being sensitive to one trigger is bad enough. I call these people the Morphers. They turn from Tweety bird to T-Rex in 0.5 seconds as they roar at that guy that merged without looking. The face goes red, the eyes swirl green and their fist grip the wheel so hard it buckles. As they turn the corner, they continue to happily sing along to the radio, until the next event occurs. This is a great indicator of the Morpher effect.

Even beautiful people, with hair that glistens in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze, have triggers that turn them senseless.
What’s yours?

<3 Miss Communication

Little Thrills

We’re bound by a world in which routine is a god forsaken need that rules us. We may not be as bad as Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, where having guests over threatens his morning bathroom schedule (7am – 7:20am) but monotony gets us all.

Maybe this creates our need for little thrills. Maybe we really do just need to shake things up with a bit of drama every once in a while.

From breaking at the last second at a red light, to teenage boys playing chicken on the highway, little thrills are our secret small pleasures throughout the day.

You’re merging onto the motorway when the truck starts to accelerate. You

a.  Play it safe and stop, even though you probably have room

b.  Slam on the accelerator and zoom in front. YES I made it mother F&^%er!

You let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding and there it is: the little thrill that suprises even you. It feels gooood.

Little thrills, I’ve discovered, is the reason why very smart people sometimes do VERY stupid things.

It’s the thing that makes you wait to text someone back, knowing they're waiting, and giggle when they text a second time.

It’s the thing that keeps your face book window open at work until you feel the boss’ retched breath on your shoulder.

It’s the thing on a Saturday night that says “Come on, you can have another shot” even though your up-chuck reflex is screaming ‘please God, not another work out’.

Somehow, after screwing up your face till you resemble an Alien that loves sour lemons, you manage to keep it down, and then comes the little thrill that excites you so.

And just like the New Age Dating Bible (He’s just not that into you) states:

                    Guys invented the "spark" so they could

                    not call and treat you kind of bad and

                    keep you guessing, and then convince you

                    that the anxiety and fear that it creates

                    in you is actually a "spark." And you

                    all buy it. You love it. You all thrive

                    on it because you all love drama.

Dear Gigi’s of the world, call me your Alex ;). He’s right. We all thrive on paying our bills last minute, and subtly rebelling in a not so rebel way. 

A woman will fret over a date, even if it was only average, and a man has his comforting ego to tell him there will always be a younger, perkier version around the corner.

Girls LOVE little dramas, this is true. Men do too, but they just cover it in gift wrap and call it an "adrenaline rush" for the masculine. Aside from driving too fast, and smelling too foul, it's exactly the same thing.

                                          Drama

Have you ever wondered why t.v shows like Home and Away and Neighbours are so popular?

It's every day people with an accelerated amount of drama, raging fires, hospitalisations and infidelity that we can then gossip about. It's fun!

Ever found yourself throwing a dirty look and then telling people all about it? That would be that little voice in your head that says "Self- I am bored. Let's cause some trouble"

In men, it may come in the form of flirting with a woman that's taken, or flirting when he himself is taken. Aside from the fact that it's the biggest ego boost since man created steroids, it's just another way to get a little bit of drama to keep life a little interesting.

Next time you find yourself expelling that little breath of air you didn't know was there, think of me, and those little thrills we all secretly love!

<3 Miss Communication