A Slow Winter...

In every Event Coordinator's calendar comes the slow season, when the phone doesn't ring and you get more  daydreams than email enquiries. In this time, she / he has the time and pleasure to catch up on the important things in life, such as purchasing too many unneeded ebay items, getting obsessed with Face book games and of course, revamping their webpage and blog... not that I speak personally or anything...

With a slow winter, so comes the slow moving motivation, when you seriously contemplate bladder abuse until finally dropping your warm pants to relieve yourself. As bears hibernate, does our motivation and creativity also leave for the winter?

Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Did you too, suffer from writers block on a cold winters night, until you dreamt up a vampire concept worth a billion dollars?

Signs you are in slow mode this Winter:

- Your sex was so good that even the neighbours are having a cigarette, yet your next thought is "now what?"
- You spend more time at home than your mother does, waiting up for her to come home and greeting her with a venomous "where were you? I BAKED for you!"
- Most of your sentences ended with "I was going to... but I didn't".
- You try to speak, but all that comes out is a lazy "nyehhhhh", out of one corner of your mouth
- You watch a whole season of True Blood in two days (and it feels so good, you follow up with season 2)
- You weigh yourself and the scales say "Hope the extra cushioning is keeping you warm, fatty".
- You spend 2 hours at work with an empty blog post, writing "lalalalalalaboobs", delete and repeat.
- You print out winter warmer recipes to host a dinner party that night, and end up using the paper to clean the McDonalds off your lap.
- You want to smile so wide a banana could fit in your mouth sideways, but all you manage is a side smirk.
- Instead of wanting to hear "Can I wine you and dine you?" as the next pick up line, you long to hear "hello, can I domesticate you?"
- Extreme boredom, isolation and low energy

We know that Sloth is a deadly sin, but isn't a good slow weekend or week a necessity in the cold weather? It makes me wonder if the rate of relationships are higher in colder months. Hmm.

As for this Wooly Winter Woman, it's time to shake the snowflakes off, clip in the hair extension (highly recommended beauty product!) and shine up my party shoes.

When you're feeling restless, the only thing that follow is some necessary drama!

Until the party starts,

<3 Miss Coordinate

A Good Night Out

After being quoted after a big night out saying "It isn't a quest for a freaking ring, I just want you to go and get me a drink", I thought about ways to be an efficient Saturday-Night-Alcoholic (in the most classy way of course), and included very thoughtful prediction on how you might feel the next day!

If Charlie Chaplin was right when he said "A man's true character comes out when he is drunk", I know a whole lot of voyeuristic, compulsive and clumsy people! Oh Charlie- if only you could see us now.

An 'Efficient' Saturday Night Out:

- You have your eyes locked on a hot prize of the evening, and you're finally talking. It's a basic guarantee that if either of you excuse yourselves, you'll get caught up in the bar/club hype and not get to speak again. This is what I like to call a Flock Block. Much like the infamous Twat / Cock block, except it involves circumstances in which a person has to flee due to:
- Needing to urinate
- Needing to buy a drink
- Needing to vacate the area due to an unnatural disaster (I call this the ex-boyfriend sighting)

One way to avoid this, or at least the drink issue, is to become an efficient alcoholic and purchase two drinks for yourself at a time at the bar (and urinating before you leave the house for goodness sake).

Less time at the bar means less time wasted, and more time avoiding the eldery lonely men that lurke the line-up hoping to charm you with their gold teeth and Wooden-Spoon-Award-Pick up lines!
 (HINT: may come in handy if you need to score a free drink, WARNING: this may attract a wrinkly leech)

When your beautifully-clad feet are throbbing, and so is your heart, the last thing you want to do is leave your prime position.

Things you want to avoid:

- Whining to the same person to get you a drink - pick someone new each time and offer them money for it. You don't want to look like a Winona ;).

- Drinking so much you: have to leave / vomit up your cocktail / text your ex your exact location with co-ordinates / cry and get the all famous Mascara Neck.

KEY INDICATORS YOU WENT OUT LAST NIGHT
(The good, bad, and the Long Bay Jail level of Ugly)


- There are kebab wrappers in your bag, bin, floor, mouth, random hotel room.
- You get notifications of photos added from people you were with last night and your first reaction is to delete your entire Face book.
- Your first words are a painful "ohh shiiiiit"
- You find unexplained bruises. Upon realising their explanation, your next words are also "ohh shiiiiit" (see embarassment blog for an A++ example)

- You walked through a drive through McDonalds / got into a taxi so they can stop on the way home
- You're written on
- You wrote on people
- You're now famous for being Smirnoff's best consumer
- You believe you should be famous for being Smirnoff's best consumer.. AND...

- My Classiest Gold Star Moment of 2009: You pull into a service station to throw up on the way home. The young indian won't let you in... So you let it all out on the glass front door, that isn't so sparkling-clean anymore.

- My slap-your-forehead Moment of 2010: You text your best friend wondering how they got home last night, and they reply, "are you serious, you idiot, the same way you did. I'm upstairs". (Suddenly all those kebab wrappers explain themselves slowly).

As always, another lesson learnt. They say some of the best ideas you will ever have, dawn like a bright country sunrise after a cocktail or two; so I have now brought to you the most intelligent thing I have, and ever will write in my life!

<3 Miss Communication

How Embarrassment!

After an interesting weekend of embarrassment, tears and laughter, I got to thinking about the difficult social situations we regularly find ourselves in.

A wise musician once said to me, ‘It is not the problems we face that mould us, it is how we deal with them.’ He went on to say that sometimes the metaphorical poo has to hit the fan, so we have the opportunity to test our strength.

Who knows? Maybe I developed my own wisdom after falling heels-over-speaker into a live band this weekend, and hitting my head on some life experience?

 Picture this: you’re feeling hot and dancing at the front of a large crowd, booty shaking away, when suddenly you lose your balance and fall backwards over a feedback speaker and into the lead singer. Your best spread eagle is now on display for 100 strangers, till a friend fishes you out while the lead singer laugh-sings the rest of the set.

You can either

a.          A.  Cry- (not a fan of this one. I prefer my mascara on the eyes, not running down my neck)

b.     B.  Be brave. Just keep on dancing and brush it off

c.     C.  Giggle, pretend nothing happened, but slowly make for the front door.

d.     D.  Laugh at yourself and tell everybody

e.     E. Yell at someone so it looks like their fault

It wasn’t the situation that formed me (even though it was the funniest and most embarrassing moment of my life), maybe it was the way I dealt with it that showed what I was like. I was a C / D combo to be quite honest.

Haven’t you ever been on a first date, when the waitress spills coffee on your date, or their car breaks down, or they step in not-so-metaphorical poo, and you hold your breath to anticipate their reaction? Are they going to yell at the waitress, get a bout of road rage or have the ‘poos’ all evening?

And you pray to whoever is listening that they have a good giggle, say “no dramas” and brush it off, so that your crush doesn’t turn into a crash. These are the tests we all face, and the way we handle them shows people who we are under the surface.

In conversation, if someone bad mouths a person to me, I can’t help but wonder what they are saying about me. It then dawned on me that people probably think the same of me- and I know I can bodge up and say something mean every now and then just like anyone else.

It's Monday, aka end of blog time- short and sweet lovers xxx.
To cure my Monday-itis I like
 my trusty Cotton On Body Robe
Berroca mmm
and my lovely new Grosby Hoodies for your feet <3
<3 Miss Communication

the girls night in

As I sit here at work struggling to find anything remotely interesting to do in this cold, windy torrential rain, I decided to share my favourite things to do on a cosy night in!

Life in the fast lane can leave burn marks on the soul, and I'm definitely due for a nice Friday night in. Who ever mentioned living fast and dying young clearly didn't mind the eyelid-tugging sleep depravity, money burning and moodiness that goes along with it.

The last straw for me was dreaming I was glued to a rat wheel and couldn't get off. I pedalled so furiously to keep up that I woke up even more exhausted!

Living fast is great, only if you get to have a slow night every now and then, and balance out your lifestyle.


Tips for a good night in:

Don't be afraid to say 'no' to invitations that arise throughout the night. Set out to do what you have decided to do.

THE GOODIES:

My personal favourites include

- Fluffy new Grosby slippers called “hoodies for your feet”. They are $30, but priceless for the warmth and snugglies they provide!

- A bottle of red wine / pink sparkling to go with fruit


- A good movie or TV series. Some of my guilty pleasures include...
Sex and the City
Mean Girls
Friends
White Oleander (but the book is way better)
Romy and Michelle's high school reunion
How to lose a guy in 10 days
Devil Wears Prada (but the book is way better)
The Notebook (when you just want to cry! I myself like to keep my mascara on the top half of my face, so this generally gets a miss)

- Making a nice dish like banoffee pie:
2 packets oreos in a food processor to make the base
1 tin of Caramel top 'n fill over the oreo base
2 bananas thickly sliced and placed over the caramel
thickened cream on top. It is the secret to happiness, from me to you friends.


THE RESULT:

A Friday night that is enjoyable, light on the wallet, and won’t have you waking up with tired rumbly eyes!