The Game

“I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.” 

― Marilyn Monroe

I love the chase. It's the mystery that gets me.

The moment where you can believe you are captivating, mesmerising and have the ability to make any man fall instantly in love with you.

As I get older and more bitter, I realise it's that golden moment in which you are still able to believe that this might be Something.

 I understand that as you get older, men and women have more baggage, more scars and more reasons to keep a relationship casual.

I have my fair share of baggage too, but that doesn't mean that I deserve an 11pm text from a Potential, asking me if I want to go for a 'drive'. Don't get me wrong, I don't need a ring for a boot-knocking, but who do men think they are kidding with that rouse? It's as overplayed as Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is You" every December. 

I'm pretty sure your chances were on the up and up before you suggested that I imprint my ass with your seat belt, while you imprint your sweat on me. While the idea of an evening overlooking the soccer field from your old ford is delightful, I'm fairly certain I'm old enough to know that there's a difference between a good time between two game players and an insult!

We all do things we aren't proud of when we don't feel like our best selves. Sometimes, one might hit on someone harder than a sexually frustrated hammer on an unsuspecting nail, (not speaking from any personal experience of my own whatsoever) and not actually mean them any disrespect... but my point still stands.

Dear anonymous,

You are vetoed. . Guns n Roses had it right, all you needed was just a little patience. By the time you realise, I will be back seat to Prince Charming on a white horse. 

Enjoy your solo baggage.

kthanksbye

<3 Miss Coordinate

“I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.” 

― Marilyn Monroe

Just put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone

Just pretend that we're together all alone

Tell the man to turn the juke box way down low

And you can tell your friend there with you, he'll have to go

Happy Belated Birthday Elvis!

The Friend

                                          

When I was a little girl (not that I have grown much since), I believed that God watched everything I did, just like I was taught in scripture. Before I did something 'naughty', like see what the fuss was all about and put foil in the microwave, I would stop and think to myself, "Maybe God went to get a glass of water". 

My morals in regards to friends, however, have always been different (one would hope). If you do something wrong to a friend, it doesn't matter if they saw it or not. Deep down, no matter how good of a child you are, you will still know, that baby indeed did a bad bad thing.

Throughout our lives, we encounter a rich tapestry of different types of friendships. Some people believe that friends are God's way of apologising for their families, while others take whatever they can get. I, however, believe that friends in life are like chicken in a salad. They're not necessary, but they make everything so much better!

I happen to be very fortune to have wonderfully giving and supportive friends like J, and old friends like K, who's own mother can only describe him as "Unique". 

Friendship is knowing they will always be there for you, no matter how many times I whine for assorted chocolate bars, drop their pants while somebody video tapes it, endlessly talk about myself and laugh so painfully loud that nearby countries cop a 4.9 on the Richter Scale. 

                                          

There comes a time however, when friendships break down. You've heard of toxic bachelor (see post below), now here are some of the common traits in a 'toxic friend', identified by Ivillage, and edited by yours truly, Miss Coordinate:

1. The Promise Breaker:

This friend constantly disappoints you or breaks promises, most likely because she herself was constantly disappointed during her formative years. Your friend is unable to stop herself from repeating that pattern. You could abandon the friend and the friendship, or you could find a way to detach yourself by lowering your expectations for this friendship. If she promises to do something for you, even to meet you for a cup of coffee, you can say, "Sure," but protect yourself by knowing, in the back of your mind, that this friend "nine times out of 10" is going to cancel on you.

Personally, I can always bet on this person not showing up, and score myself some loose change.
.

2. The Double-crosser:

This negative friend betrays you big-time. It could happen when someone does something to hurt you, such as spreading a malicious rumor about you. 

Personally, I had my fair share of double-crossers early in life, and I like to think that I am now older and wiser (yeah right), and can spot these types early. Drop your shopping bags, bestie bracelet, matching shirt and run, is my advise. 

3. The Self-absorbed:

a friend who does not make the time to listen to you will eat away at your self-esteem. For you to feel good about yourself, and for your friendship to thrive, you have to be more than a sounding board. The Self-absorbed does not care; she listens to you only because she is waiting to speak.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought "wow, that person is really nice, but I don't know anything about them at all"? It's because you were the one doing all the talking:- women, this comes naturally! 

Side note: an old toxic-bachelor-boyfriend of mine admitted to letting women do all the talking so they liked him better, and he didn't even have to say a word! 

4. The Discloser 

When you say to this friend, "This is just between us," she nods her head but unfortunately that promise will last only as long as it takes her to get to her phone or e-mail.
Unless you want the world to know, avoid telling these people secrets, cause they'll be passed around faster than a hot potato among energetic red-cordial lipped chilren.

                                                      5. The Competitor:

A little bit of competition can be motivating and healthy, but an excess amount can be worse than getting your pants pulled down in a public place; unnecessary and horrid for ones self esteem! Competition implies a race in which one wins and the other loses; the opposite of what someone typically expects in a positive friendship, especially a close or best one.

If you wish to stay friends with the Competitor, you may have to be willing to listen to her brags and boasts far more often than you can share your own

6. The Fault-finder
Nothing you do, say, or wear is good enough for this overly critical friend. The Fault-finder was probably raised by extremely judgmental parents who were also rearing equally hypercritical siblings. 

Dropping in a quote from the one and only Mother Teresa, "if you judge people, you have no time to love them". 

In my experience, even the best of friends can have faults in every one of these categories. Just like water and pancake mix, sometimes you have to work together and shake things up a little to get a good end result!

So whether you're a sometimes friend, a bestest friend, a woman with a whole lot of cats, or a guy in the 'friend zone' that constantly reminds himself it's better than nothing, don't fear. 

Friendship may have more faces than a gold digger's diamond, but it is still friendship after all.

Your friend,

<3 Miss Coordinate

To Read More of the original Friendship Types artice: http://articles.ivillage.com/2003-02-25/Parenting/21648486_1_friendship-trait-pattern/6#ixzz0rdCwNOD5 

The Pin Up Girl

As we sift through an endless scale of labels, roles and self-images, we try to identify ourselves and our place in the world. We're constantly changing what we believe, what we stand for and which cause to fight for. When everything changes faster than Lindsay Lohan gets new negative press, how do we ever stop the labelling process?

From the primary school Mufti-Day wardrobe mishaps where the cool kids picked on your Target shirt, to working out how to deal with your first toxic bachelor in Love's game of chemistry, we have grown and changed according to who we 'are' in society. Women unfortunately, sometimes let men to do the labelling. When you want to drown your troubles but your boyfriend won't go swimming, sometimes it's lighter on the soul to do our own re-evaluation.

Women are constantly working to be accepted by the general public, while men have less of this pressure, thus the Pin Up Girl Effect. I don't see any 1950's male model pin ups that other men can strive towards becoming. That tall, dark and handsome Mr Right with a rich knowledge of the female body and an ever richer bank account. No!
There are no old male posters with a man holding a diamond between his pecs, the way a woman models her baby maker.

We love to label ourselves, take little quizzes and categorize. No matter what we say about looks not mattering, women are more likely to feel its importance, regardless if the man doesn't care. Love may be blind, but our own sense of sex appeal isn't. This would be why lingerie is so popular!


It's a proven fact that women are more likely to feel insecure about their image, and watch every thing they do because of it. Of course, I've never been a fan of believing "you are what you eat", because I happen to like fruits and nuts!
It's the unlikeable truth that men are more likely to have a strong sense of confidence, even when it's not deserved. (Read my first blog THE MALE EGO). When it comes to our roles in relationships, how we see ourselves is likely to be how others see us too.

 Maybe it's true what they say after all...

<3 Miss Communication

Some believe that a black cat crosses your path and greatly impacts the outcome of your day. Others believe that a black cat crosses your path because it's merely going somewhere. I pity the fool that believes nothing, for then neither have any purpose at all!