Monday, April 9, 2012

The Yellow Brick Road

Being in the hotel industry, I tend to collect a lot of odds and ends (and get a lot of phone calls from people needing a room only for an hour, but that is neither here nor there). On a day where I actually left my desk, I ventured into the staff room and found a row of books loved and lost by past travellers and sex-seekers. I decided to re-read the classics, Of Mice and Men, and The Wizard of Oz. 

I found Dorothy in a flat, dry, dying plot of land in Kansas. It may have taken a hurricane to lift her out of her grey home, but the important thing is that one part of her life was over, and she had to let it go and move forward.
As a suburban girl, I come across most people that build their lives in the one place. Some are begging to leave and start a fresh life somewhere exotic on the coastline, some drop off the face of your earth even though they are only a hop, skip and a taxi away (oh my), and some stay exactly where they started.

I myself, love the change of pace when I stay in the city. It's colourful & refreshing for a 'break', but I learnt that you can't take a holiday away from yourself - you just need a hurricane brain to lift you into a new state of mind. It made me realise that coming home is always the hardest thing to do when life gets tough, but the clarity will have refreshed the grey tones and everything becomes OK.

It's a fine line between brave and stupid to pack your bags and move somewhere else. I have always envied those people that moved to Australia and set up their life and made it work. It's easy to romanticise the idea of moving far far away, where life will be better, sunnier, happier.The emotive Tin Man yearning for a heart, the protective Lion wanting bravery, and the lively scarecrow who wants a brain, all allude to the concept that "if only" some particular thing would happen, all our problems would be solved. 

If only I had time to.
If only I was brave enough.
If only he wanted a relationship.
If only he wasn't already in a relationship.
If only my old boss had been a little bit nicer.
If only I had realised sooner that "stressed" is just desserts spelt backwards!
If only he hadn't seen you for the last time in an oversized, see through "I love Napoleon Dynamite" shirt.. Then he definitely would have called.  
If only I had realised he was a good friend of your family before telling you how much of a tool I think he is. 
If only I didn't salsa dance with that stranger, I wouldn't have fallen over while everybody in the club watched and developed a bruise on my ass in the shape of "YouShouldHaveStayedHomeLastNightyouTwanger". (Maybe some "If Only's" are allowed!) 
If only he didn't 'get away'. Let me ask this; can The One get away twice? If The One Got Away, was he ever really The One to begin with? If he was The One, he would be with you, and not have gotten away, even if wild horses chased him the other way and then built a moat of hay around them. Some of our Ones always tend to get away several times before our If Only's run out!
Some days I think men see women more like bugs, than beautiful humans. They don't wait to see if we're the harmless kind, or what type of bug or anything about them.. They just scoop them up, lull them into a false sense of security till they are on their backs with their legs kicking in the air and then flush them down the toilet! 

What I truly believe, however, is that There is No Such Thing as a fresh start. You will always take you with you.. and that's where the issue will remain until you take that journey and face your truths. What does my heart know? What does my head feel?

When I am home, in the place where I have slept all of my life, in the place that knows me, I have no choice but to remember who I am and what my reality is. And there, in the dark, is where you find yourself. You brave The Night. You face The Alone. You have a cry, and you let it go. Loneliness is the human condition, and the best we can do is to embrace the journey, learn our own heart and never let it go. 

This bug knows that she will always survive the trip through the yellow brick pipes, overcome her fears and trump the wicked witch. Even thought I didn't find what I was looking for in the Emerald City, the journey was exceptional!

Clicking my Heels,

<3 Miss Coordinate 

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