Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Jungle

So I am now one year older, and being in the events industry, my friends naturally expect me to make a big deal of it and throw a right rager. Not being able to resist, I decided to have a big party at a bar.

I believe the power of moods can make or break your evening, and the only person that can control it, unfortunately, is yourself.

The birthday has come and gone, with wonderful surprises and the normal cancellations due to unforeseen circumstances, like sick relatives, migraines and all of the I-Robots stopping people from leaving their homes.

I did have a good evening, because I refused to let silly things bother me. There are two ways of seeing a night out: the endless opportunity, or the endless futility.

I spend the whole week wishing for a bathtub of wine and a silly straw, and the weekend finally rolls around. We all go out, dressed up, in the hopes of having a great night and feeling better about ourselves in the morning. Sometimes, it does the trick, but if you've got the "Seen this, Done that" sunglasses on, it can be a jungle out there. For example:

1. The Lioness
There are many forms of said creature. We can all have our moment of roar, especially for the door girls at a club. Didn't quite make it to the police academy? That's ok, there's still a place for you to exert your need to lay down the law, along with your inflated want of power.
When facing these beasts, there are two options. It all depends on exactly how bad you want to prowl that evening.
a. swallow their aggressive growling, pay your price and be so grateful you were let in at all
b. bite back, stand your ground and risk potential exile

2. The Locusts with Lipgloss:
The girls in the bathroom that buzz around, taking far too long, talk far too fast, have had far too much to drink, and either
a. make friends with you to borrow your make up
b. require you to empathise with them about their alcohol content
c. size you up because they are prettier, i.e have more make up on / have recently used the bathroom's $2 slot machine hair straightener and have shed more hairs on the floor than you care to shake a stick at.
You can see this as either an opportunity to make a temp-friend and have a random adventure, or see the futility in it, because you won't see them again, and the guy waiting patiently at the door for them ( or you) doesn't actually care if your hair is frizzy. He wants to frizz it up himself... With his crotch. And no fresh re-application will instantly make him love you - because he's probably a douche bag anyway.

3. The Roaches:
The lovely men aside of course, the Roaches are the same men waiting patiently for a locust, and comes from a pack of roaches that travelled in the hopes of a meal that evening. You can either
a. see the opportunity for a new love / fling / adventure
b. see him abundantly distracted by the satellites on your chest, and start spouting out stories of your new ant farm, because you would have better luck nailing jelly to a tree, than getting him to truly be interested in how charming you are.
Let me ask this; if Mortein bug repellent is so successful at ridding us of roaches, why do they use the same bug's face in every advertisement? The answer is this: once some men enter that club, they become a version of themselves that is exactly like the last roach that curled up and died, and got booted out by a bouncer.

4. The Prowler's Pick me Up:
A wonderful man is just a man. He isn't always wonderful, but that is one of the many risks that we Jungle Explorers take.
A pick me up Man is just like The Cake at a birthday party. Everybody else is eating it, and you really want to know if it's worth breaking the fast for. If in doubt, ALWAYS put. the. cake. down. There will be remorse.
After a pick me up, one can wind up in several places.
    a. the watering hole, dialling-drunk to find out where he is. NB: this is what putting all of your eggs in one basket looks like. Good friends will spot a girl excusing herself to sneak to the bathroom alone without her hand bag, red-hot phone in hand. Circle it in your calendars, because that is a scheduled drunk dial that must be stopped in its tracks!
    b. a nest that isn't yours, trying to look ones best upon wake-up. Breathtaking? I think not. I'm fairly certain I still have my pillow imprint mashed to my face and a hefty DNA deposit of drool not-exactly-in-my-mouth in the mornings.
   c. going home alone, which is the stronger choice, but not always the safest. One can find themselves stranded, but it's better than going home with a Tarzan that is only thinking of his tree.

I suppose everybody just wants to feel something. One never knows what the lions, locusts, roaches and predators are really after, and hey, maybe there is a little bit of all of these animals in all of us.

One can find themselves consumed with an overwhelming feeling of the "I don't want to be here"s when they are out. We generally underestimate the power of our own minds, and blatantly refuse to snap out of our slumps. It is always up to yourself to change this, shake it off, put your god damn shoes on and have a bloody good adventure.

Whether you decide to go out or stay home, the way that you will end up feeling will always be The Great Unknown, and maybe that's the greatness of it.

Lacing up my safari boots,

<3 Miss Coordindate

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