Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A Slow Winter...
With a slow winter, so comes the slow moving motivation, when you seriously contemplate bladder abuse until finally dropping your warm pants to relieve yourself. As bears hibernate, does our motivation and creativity also leave for the winter?
Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Did you too, suffer from writers block on a cold winters night, until you dreamt up a vampire concept worth a billion dollars?
Signs you are in slow mode this Winter:
- Your sex was so good that even the neighbours are having a cigarette, yet your next thought is "now what?"
- You spend more time at home than your mother does, waiting up for her to come home and greeting her with a venomous "where were you? I BAKED for you!"
- Most of your sentences ended with "I was going to... but I didn't".
- You try to speak, but all that comes out is a lazy "nyehhhhh", out of one corner of your mouth
- You watch a whole season of True Blood in two days (and it feels so good, you follow up with season 2)
- You weigh yourself and the scales say "Hope the extra cushioning is keeping you warm, fatty".
- You spend 2 hours at work with an empty blog post, writing "lalalalalalaboobs", delete and repeat.
- You print out winter warmer recipes to host a dinner party that night, and end up using the paper to clean the McDonalds off your lap.
- You want to smile so wide a banana could fit in your mouth sideways, but all you manage is a side smirk.
- Instead of wanting to hear "Can I wine you and dine you?" as the next pick up line, you long to hear "hello, can I domesticate you?"
- Extreme boredom, isolation and low energy
We know that Sloth is a deadly sin, but isn't a good slow weekend or week a necessity in the cold weather? It makes me wonder if the rate of relationships are higher in colder months. Hmm.
As for this Wooly Winter Woman, it's time to shake the snowflakes off, clip in the hair extension (highly recommended beauty product!) and shine up my party shoes.
When you're feeling restless, the only thing that follow is some necessary drama!
Until the party starts,
<3 Miss Coordinate